Parenting is so all-consuming. It provides all the conversation, all the commonality we need. Right? Or maybe not. The very few friends I have from childhood and early teaching years, I can say exactly where they stand on most issues. I know how they react to things. I know some of the challenges they faced- I was even there for some of them. I knew them first, before they had children. For my mommy friends, it is hard to get past the here and now, usually because the children are always right there, listening, or could be at any moment. Not the right environment for baring one's soul, is it?
I hadn't given that a whole lot of thought until recently. It doesn't matter to me if my friends are Christian, Jew, Pagan, Wiccan, Atheist, Buddhist, or Mormon. It's none of my business who you voted for, if you are married, divorced, single, or partnered, or if your baby was born into a marriage or not. It isnt up to me to decide if you should vaccinate your children or eat vegan, vegetarian, paleo, gluten free, or anything else. We all have our own path to follow. And I kind of assumed that my friends felt similarly.... Or at least I thought I knew which friends didn't.
Until the whole gay marriage thing. I had no idea I had so many friends who felt so compelled to throw stones. As in not just opposing gay marriage, but also rejecting the people involved. Which makes me so sad. These are people. Real people, living their lives in the best way they know how, just like the rest of us. Maybe you have sheltered yourself and your children so completely that you have forgotten that they are just that.
Thus I'd like to put it out there that I am in total support of people living their lives as they see fit, provided it isn't hurting anyone. Live and let live. The Bible says to love everyone, to not throw stones, and to remove the plank from your own eye before worrying about anyone else's supposed speck. If you don't want to hear me say that, well... you have to do what you have to do- I'm probably not your ideal friend, in real life or on Facebook.
I have a cousin who got married yesterday to the love of her life, someone who has stuck with her through thick and thin, someone who is caring for our elderly grandpa and raising their teenage son. I am so thankful that they all have each other, and that finally it can be recognized legally.
Sooo.... What about my kids? Are they scarred for life, or thinking maybe they want to be gay just because they know about it? Well, I have a sweet friend who patiently answered all the questions regarding her same-sex marriage E came up with over the course of a month or so before we moved. Even the ones about babies and sperm donors. A week or so ago, when I told the children that my cousin was getting married, E told me that he had come to the conclusion that love conquers all.
Love conquers all. Now THAT is a lesson I want my children to remember.