Enough.

I took these pictures with the idea of writing an 'it's not all pretty watercolors' sort of post, to counter all the beautiful pictures bloggers post every day....kind of a 'don't feel bad, my house is a mess also' reality check. But when I put the photos together into blogsy, I saw something else.

My daughter's favorite dress that I almost gave away because I mistakenly remembered it being too small. The crane that I spent hours and hours online looking for to put on E's wish list because it had to be 'a big, working crane that can lift blocks' AND big enough for his tall 5yo self, that still gets daily use at 10yo. The treadmill that allows C to exercise at home so he can spend more time with us. The futon on the floor (again) for an obstacle course game E made up to play with e. The toy shelves my grandpa built for me when I was little, and the books I use to educate my children. The computer desk C glued together in our bedroom 15 years ago that (once we removed the bedroom door and hinges and got it out of the bedroom) has survived at least 8 moves.

A dishwasher! Even better, a dishwasher loaded by E. Plants (that are still green after a year in my care!) in the sink. Medicine to help us heal, filtered water to drink. Dishes from our wedding 14 years ago, when feeding a family of four was just a distant dream. A gate to contain our feisty G who is still going after at least 4 near-death experiences and risky surgery last fall. Cheery orange paint that is slowly replacing the peeling wallpaper. Water bottles ready for our next adventure. Colorful shelves that I first assembled before E was born, when the pain of our first loss was still fresh and raw but the promise of E's strong (STRONG) kicks allowed us hope. Art supplies, our daily bread.

Diapers and towels from said miracle pig, waiting to be washed and dried by magical machines in our dining room. The sewing machine my grandpa gave me when he found out I was sewing quilts by hand between college classes. The red diaper bag I carried to our wonderful friend's house when e was teeny and C was away at basic training. Yarn. I can knit! My camera, which has taken pictures from Alaska to Canada to Virginia to Oregon and back again. Beaches, mountains, forests, deserts, arctic tundra. Silly-crazy-happy moments and almost unbearably sad moments and everything in between, my camera has seen them all. Work samples and chorus information. We live in a city with an amazing children's chorus! A bucket of outgrown I'm-going-to-use-these-for-something clothes with e's beloved footed jammies right on top. An egg carton- e is no longer allergic to eggs!

Our fall sugar snap sprouts, tomatoes, and monster basil in the garden box C built for me. Our screened-in back porch where C and I watch lightening bugs flash after dark, right before a rainstorm.

A big, huge backyard full of thick grass that stays green almost all winter and a strong swingset from Nana and Papa. Kids who are healthy and siblings who (mostly) get along. Helpful, creative, curious, passionate, talented young people. The trapeze that e flipped off and broke her arm, complete with memories of surgery and medicine and casts and pins and recovery. Today she overcame her fear of accidentally touching unseen spiderwebs in order to cross the bars.

Monumental growth in my E. He has come a long, long way.

So there you go.  My house is a bit messy, there are unfinished projects, the grass is long.  I'm not proud of it....until I saw it in pictures.

My children are always watching, and I want them to learn to keep a tidy home, yes.... but more than that I want them to see the blessings around us and be thankful. I want them to remember their childhood as enough. Enough love, enough food, enough happiness, enough rain. Whatever we have or don't have, I hope they see it as enough.